My world exists to me in a small bubble of consciousness

My world exists to me in a small bubble of consciousness

Events that occurred prior to the bubble are immaterial unless they physically affect that which is in the bubble. Events that occur after the bubble are not accounted for because I cannot see them. I am narcissistic because I am the only constant variable. I am OCD because I must be, in order to function halfway properly I must maintain rigid control of the aspects of the world that I am able. And I cannot regard others as being remotely the same as I for they are not. Their world exists as a whole, their thoughts flow into each other, and they can plan for their future existence. I, on the other hand, live in a world broken apart like disconnected puzzle pieces. They lay in the proper order, but they are not touching. My thoughts dance about, interfered by the smallest of distractions. And my future is completely uncertain as from my vantage point all possibilities are equally likely and thus none can be prepared for.

I have cheated on my wife, I have slept around because sex is simply a physical act. I take steps to ensure I do not procreate, but ultimately if I did, it’s not my problem. If I pay a bit of child support it doesn’t matter. I have stolen because I wanted, not because I couldn’t afford. I lie constantly about who I am, what my abilities are, what job skills I have, and because I am intelligent I can learn the job skills I lied about in a short enough time that none are the wiser. (więcej…)

Czytaj dalej My world exists to me in a small bubble of consciousness